"I Feel Worse and Worse"

"I just want to get my thoughts and feelings out, and maybe make someone listen to their own heart and not let anyone confuse them…
Hello, everyone.
At the end of June, I posted about being pregnant with my fourth child. My partner didn’t want it, and although I couldn’t reconcile it with my heart… I ended up doing what I did, and now it’s destroying me
It’s been 15 weeks, and I feel worse and worse. I can’t handle it; the normal everyday life is a problem for me. I have extreme mood swings, from sadness to anger, but no joy anymore. No matter what my three children do, I can no longer find joy in it. In very bad moments, they annoy me so much—even though they’re doing nothing—that I wish they weren’t here. Or that I wasn’t anymore.
I only see pregnant women or newborns now. Either I cry or I’m angry at them for having their little miracle while I don’t."